Sunday, June 21, 2009

Are You a Migraine Zombie?

A dear online friend suggested to me, after we wrote some migraine zombie haiku, that perhaps we should rename Migraine Disease to Zombie Migraine Disease and then perhaps there would be more understanding in the world, but how do you know if you have Migraine Zombie Disease?

I have used my extensive zombie knowledge to come up with the following questionnaire. If you answer yes to any of the following questions during a Migraine Attack, you might be a Migraine Zombie!

1) Do you often lurch and stagger around?

2) Do you emit low and guttural moans from time to time?

3) Do you have decreased motor function in your hands and fingers?

4) Do you have an unhealthy obsession with brains, such as "what is wrong with my brain? Why does my brain hurt so much, etc"

5) Do you have an increased sense of smell? Zombies can smell something from miles away.

6) Have you awoken from a nearly catatonic state? This could be The Migraine Zombie Coma.

7) Have you lost your vision capabilities? Another zombie symptom is degeneration of the corneas.

Remember one of the first signs of being infected with Zombie Migraine Disease is headache or migraine!


Parin Stormlaughter said...

OMG CHICKIE!! I'M A ZOMBIE MIGRAINEUR!! And here I thought I was a vampire... XD

LMAO but all of this so, so true.

Sharoni said...

Now I know why people look at me strange when I am staggering around w/a migraine!

Club del Mal di Testa said...

Great, now I can demonstrate to everybody that I'm a zombie!
That's why I have such dark circles around my eyes!!

Migraine Mermade said...

Hell Yes !

deborah said...

you failed to mentioned the intense sense of hearing we zombies have acquired with our disease; the ability to hear things both, from areas other people (the normal, non-zombies) cannot hear, and the things that are just not there at all that are in our own zombie brains.

Shiela Stewart said...

Oh, I am totally a migraine Zombie!

I just found this blog and glad I did. I'm definitely coming back

Paul.K.Cumming said...

I´m a middle-aged dude migraine zombie. Can I be your boyfriend? I am a neuroscientist, so I don´t need your brain.