Monday, July 28, 2008

Adventures in Vomiting

I’m sorry for the gross title and if you are feeling nauseous, you might not want to read this. While I was at work on Friday, I had to run to the bathroom early on my break because I was going to get sick.

After I was finished, I stood up and flushed, feeling quite shaky, dizzy and disorientated when my elbow knocked off a small toilet paper roll that was sitting on top of the dispenser. The cleaning people like to leave these baby partial rolls when they refill the dispensers. I suppose they are being green and they want all the paper to be used up.

To my surprise, the baby roll shot straight into the flushing toilet. I froze as it was sucked down with the water. There was a gurgle. The water took its sweet time refilling, but there didn’t seem to be any adverse effects.

Whew! I went back to my desk.

Twenty minutes later, a co-worker returned from her break and announced to the floor “Some hog backed up the third stall.”

She went onto say there was water everywhere and it was even coming outside the bathroom near the elevators. The carpeting was all squishy.

Holy crap. Was it because of me? I had been in the third stall. Was it the baby roll? Visions of water mains bursting and police tracking down the culprit danced in my head. I was nearly paralyzed with fear, and I couldn't think straight because my head was hurting so bad. Should I confess? Then I would not only be known as the girl who scams off time from work with her migraines, but the hog who backed up the third stall.

I managed to glance around the floor for my supervisor, but he was nowhere to be seen. I overheard someone saying that management was in a meeting, and someone else had already called maintenance about the bathroom.

Then I told myself technically the third stall was fine when I left it. Maybe some other hog did the damage.

I kept my head down until lunch, figuring if it was still catastrophic, I would confess to my supervisor when I saw him, praying that he would be discrete, but when I came to the elevators to go downstairs, everything looked fine. The carpet was slightly damp. I peeked in the bathroom. There wasn’t even a sign that anything had happened. The order of the bathroom universe had been restored.

So I guess the moral of this story is to try to keep an eye on your surroundings when you are yaking at work, so you don't cause any more chaos than what you are already going through.


Anonymous said...

Your co-worker is totally over the top. I would call your co-worker a snitch. Oh my gosh. That is totally hysterical. Ok, here's my adivce to you. Given that environment, you cannot fess up b/c it appears that they would do something very terrible to you for any errors. These people sound awful. You are working in a car wreck. I think you should seek cover, shelter, and avoid your co-workers. Something has gone terribly wrong. The environment seems hostile. What would they do, cut your pay for clogging the toilet? Carolyn

Ellen Schnakenberg said...

OMGosh! You are so hysterical, you totally brightened up my day. I don't know how you do it... have such an experience and find so much humor in it. You are really just too awesome. :)

Ellen Schnakenberg
visit my WEGO Health migraine blog

Heather said...

This is so funny! I think it goes back to your post a while ago about how clumsy, etc. we are in the middle of a migraine. I cannot get in/out of the car, or even walk straight!!
And they shouldn't leave those small rolls up there, anyway! :)

Megan Oltman said...

Well, I must say there was really very little vomit in that adventure. I'm sure for you the vomit was pretty central to the experience but you spared us. The baby toilet paper rolled bing sucked down is just too much. I picture your horrified face, mouth agape, yes?

You know, stuff happens... toilets misbehave and it's not anyone's fault!

- Megan

Sue said...

Only you could make migraine vomiting an adventure! Thanks for a much-needed smile.

Myth said...

In this instance I would totally not mention I was anywhere near the bathroom. I do sympathize with the nausea at work, I have had 'issues' with this as well, since my stomach rebelled against the very thought of anti-infammatories. Totally sucks. Expecially when the bathroom is down stairs and the workplace is small enough for almost everyone to notice ever two minutes you walk very swiftly to it... I suspect yaking also makes a echo that can be heard. But hey, thats part of the migraine experience and if I have to be at work, so be it. Making it to the bathroom would be the key thing to remember... I once did not, in a crowded airport, on my way to a job interview, which was extremely embarassing.