Friday, June 20, 2008
June Cleaver’s Secret Shame
I’ve been avoiding the uptight woman at work, who reminds me of June Cleaver, ever since she yelled at me for accidentally yawning without covering my mouth.(Sometimes when my migraines are bad, I get these very painful yawns.) I wrote about it in my post No Yawning Allowed. It drives me nuts listening to her eat her baby carrots for snacks at her desk, chewing them like a hamster, and how she glares at me whenever I eat something sugary.
Yesterday, a vendor came into work for a visit and they brought us ice cream sundaes and brownies for a treat. Not wanting to tempt the migraine gods at work, I went upstairs to the lunchroom to see if there was anything sans chocolate, when I spotted June Cleaver sitting by herself at a table in the corner. I was surprised to see her actually partaking in the goodies.
Of course, I had to breeze by her to get some water. To my surprise, I saw she had a sundae with hot fudge and whipped cream with two brownies on her plate beside it. Holy cow!
Since the sundaes were pre-made and the only topping was hot fudge, I decided to pass and I headed back to my desk. A while later, June Cleaver returned and she was looking quite peaked.
“I think I may have over indulged,” she said.
No shit, I wanted to say, but instead I said, “Really.”
“I have a bit of a problem with sugar. Once I start eating it, I can’t stop.”
I couldn’t resist.
“So what did you actually eat?” I asked.
“Well, the sundae was topped with whipped cream, nuts and cookie bits, and I ate two brownies. And it turned out there was another brownie at the bottom of the sundae cup, so I ate that, too.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s a lot of sugar.”
Looking paler, she nodded and started working again. Suddenly, I had an image of her hiding in the pantry when she was a kid and spooning sugar into her mouth before her mom found her and yelled bloody murder at her. She was a secret sugar binger! No wonder she looked at sugar the way she did.
I can’t say that I like her anymore after learning this, but I think I’m starting to understand where she is coming from a little better. I guess all of us have secret lives in one way or another.