Thursday, January 31, 2008

Little Miss Crabby Ass

I've been stuck in the worst mood for the last week. I don't know if it's depression or if my hormones are taking me for a wild, wacky ride, but it's an unpleasant experience. Aunt Martha seems to have left town, but Chuck the Migraine Squirrel is on a rampage. I was stuck home sick yesterday, after throwing up six times in the morning. I tried taking an anti-nauesua pill but it didn't work. So I spent the whole day in bed, with one eye half open, watching really bad, black and white, horror movies on AMC.

The only thing that has made me feel better are the encouraging and understanding comments from my online friends.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Saddest Bad Migraine Haiku Ever

I think I may have written my saddest Bad Migraine Haiku ever. I'm stuck in some sort of PMS limbo land. Aunt Martha (my period) is acting like she wants to come to town for a visit, but she just won't commit. It's been 33 days now. I've got cramps and back pain, migraine deluxe, and mood swings, but no actual results. This is really pissing me off.

Here is the haiku I wrote over the weekend.

Life is not my own
Pain robs me of who I am
Why am I alive?

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Migraine Mascots Round Up!

My Migraine Mascots keep growing. The Pink Skull with the bow is actually a temporary tattoo I bought from a gumball type machine at the grocery store. I haven't worked up the courage to put it on my skin yet.

The other two mascots are from a myspace friend, Dana, who loves this type of stuff as much as me. Natalie Dee is one of my favorite online comics. Only she would put a saw blade right into a head! It's called customer service with a smile, but I think it's more fitting for a migraine.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The X Factor

At my job at the call center, many customers exaggerate things, for example like how long they have been on hold, because they think they will get more action and attention. When I take a call, I can see how long they have been on hold before I take the call. They are not aware of this so they will say something like “I’ve been on hold for twenty minutes” and I can see they’ve only been holding for five minutes.

Therefore, it makes me wonder if doctors think their patients exaggerate things to get more attention, which is truly frustrating because I’m honest with doctors and I’m trying to get across how bad things are for me. How can you explain your situation to a doctor and not come across as a desperate nut job or a drug seeker?

I’ve been working on keeping my migraine diary, thinking that maybe if I show this to my new doctor (when I find one) they might believe me more, but when I read it, I look like a royal mess. No one can possibly be this miserable. It looks like the deep, dark secrets of a drama queen.

I’m really frustrated keeping this diary and I’m not convinced a doctor isn’t going to think I’m exaggerating in here as well. I’ve been writing down my pain levels, symptoms, and some triggers like weather, etc... Maybe I should tone down the language like "my brain feels like it is filled with steel wool on fire!"

What kind of things do you put in your migraine diary?

Sunday, January 20, 2008

LOL Chicken

You know those funny pictures of cats called LOLCATS. Well, I made a LOL chicken for migraine chick.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Bad Migraine Haikus, the dark side

I've been working on writing more bad migraine haikus. This batch is a little depressing. I tend to write them at work when I'm having really bad pain, and I'm gettting emotional toward the end of the day.

No one knows for sure
The depths of my true despair
As my migraine reigns

Ice pick stabbing brain
Splattering sparkling auras
As I start to cry

My head hurts badly
I’ve got so much stuff to do
Daily migraine life

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Chef's Table

I think I may have found one of the worst dinner experiences for me as a Migraine Chick. This last weekend, some girlfriends asked me to go along to a birthday dinner for a dear friend at Buca Di Beppo. I usually love Italian restaurants because there are many options for me being a vegetarian, so I said I would love to go.

They had reserved something called a “chef’s table.” It sounded interesting. I had visions of dining in a secluded room with the chef asking us what our favorite foods were and he would create a special dish for each of us.

Silly me.

It turns out that the chef’s table at this restaurant is located in a nook in the actual kitchen, which meant bright white fluorescent lights glaring off industrial white walls. You get to hear all the yelling and banging of pots while the food is cooked for the entire restaurant. It was beyond loud. We couldn’t even hear each other speak. Not to mention the smell, this was a combination of giant meatballs cooking next to shellfish.

There were no special dishes created for us. It was just the same menu but eating the food in this atmosphere. Although I was secretly cringing and wincing at every bang of a pot, the glare from the walls searing my eyeballs, and the smells of too many different foods cooked at one time running my nausea ramped, I managed not to let on to anyone that this was killing my migraine brain.

Sometimes when I become trapped in situations like this, I try to tell myself “there is a beginning and there is an end.” For some reason, it helps me cope.

Note to myself. The next time someone special mentions something out of the ordinary like a “chef’s table” do a little more research first.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Migraine Barbie has snapped!

I think Migraine Barbie has finally snapped from the migraine pain. Now she is trying to use a vise like instrument(c-clamp) Uncle Fester did in The Addams Family to get rid of her migraine. I've considered doing this myself, but I haven't found a large enough vise for my melon.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Cafe Chronique!

I recently joined a new online community called Cafe Chronique It's A Chronically Unique Community For Chronique Divas.

"Welcome to the Cafe! Grab a latte & pull up a chair ~ you're in the company of Chronic Divas! Here you can customize your personal Cafe page, blog for public viewing or for friends only, add pictures, video, widgets and more to your profile, post in the forums and even create unique groups for like-minded Chronique Divas! Click the "Invite" tab to welcome all of your Chronique friends to our new community. Thank you for joining us and making this community Chronically Unique!"

Check out my profile page at Migraine Chick. I've already met a lot of new chronic chicks. I think this is going to be a great support site.

There is also a link for Bless This Chick on Cafe Chronique, where you can make your own chronic Diva icon. Here are two icons that I made. I still like my chickie, but these little divas are so cute too!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Migraine Monsters!

We are having a warm spell here in Michigan, and the shift in the weather is killing my migraine brain. Yesterday, it was 63 degrees outside, in the middle of winter! I had to stay home sick because my head hurt so bad. It feels like my skull is in the middle of a war zone.

The lovely Deborah at weathering migraine storms had posted some awesome pictures and vivid descriptions of her migraine monster, the ice pick monster. I tried to imagine my migraine squirrel, Chuck, living up to such a reputation. Here is the best picture I could find.

Migraine Squirrel Chuck going to war against my brain!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Bad Migraine Haikus Honored!

Back in September, I submitted some of my migraine haikus to the Pain & Creativity Art Exhibit through the American Pain Foundation, and they were chosen by their panel of judges to be honored and prominently featured with the American Pain Foundation and their project partner, the HealthCentral Network, through online and print publications.

Pain & Creativity Art Exhibit

"This ongoing project has developed into the Pain and Creativity Center. Submissions through September 20th were eligible to be honored online and in our print newsletter (still to come). A group of volunteer artists led by David O’Donaghue of the Lagniappe project in Baltimore generously offered their time to jury the work of visual and written art submitted by the September 20th deadline. Click here for bios on the jurors and criteria by which they judged the work."

My haikus are featured in the Written Pieces on page 9.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Migraine Plan 2008

With the New Year here, I’ve been working on what I’m calling “The New and Improved Migraine Plan for 2008.” I can't say that these are resolutions, but more like a plan of attack on this beast that has invaded my life. I made a migraine plan for last year, and although I accomplished some of it, most of the results were less than stellar.

What I’ve done so far is begin to organize my migraine files. Instead of having just one big file labeled “Migraine,” I’ve divided it into sub-categories like Drugs, Inspirations, Doctors, Alternative Treatments, Migraine Articles, Migraine Chick Blogging, etc… This way I can find information a lot quicker.

Other things I want to do this year are find an actual headache specialist and a decent, caring, primary care doctor.

I’m going to keep a migraine diary for an entire year in lengthy detail. I’ve done it before but only for a few months.

I want to learn to meditate, which I’ve mostly been doing through podcasts so far.

Since my creative writing has crashed and burned because of my migraines, I think I’m going to try to write some essays about living with chronic pain. In addition, I want to keep up with my haiku writing, blogging, and maybe try to write some more book reviews. Anything to keep my brain going.

Is anyone else making a 2008 Migraine Plan, and if so, what kind of things do you have listed?

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Not such a Jolly Christmas!

I knew asking Santa Clause for a pain free Christmas was a little foolhardy, but I didn’t think he would actually sent Aunt Flo (my period) to visit me on Christmas Day. Aunt Flo’s visits are the worst migraine time for me. Imagine a migraine fruitcake loaded with pain, pms and depression.

It wasn’t until Christmas and New Year's Eve were actually over and some of the pain had subsided that I was able to look around at the aftermath, and I realized how much my chronic pain had affected the holiday season.

For example, I only managed to make only one type of Christmas cookies this year (from a mix), when I usually make two or three from scratch types. I never wore my Christmas socks nor did I fill up my candy dishes.

I didn’t watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer or Santa Clause is Coming to Town. I only ended up watching the movie Bad(der) Santa, the unrated version.

I know these are little things, and I should be grateful for what I did manage to do, but to me some of these things mattered.

On top of all this, guess what Santa Clause sent me in the mail on Christmas Eve Day? It was a jury summons notice for later this month.(I had to go Jury Duty two years ago with a migraine and it was a nightmare)