Thursday, November 15, 2007

Super Spy Ninja Migraine Skills

The other day, I was trying to come up with some positive things about my migraines, and I realized I have learned some new skills that I might not have ever picked up if it weren’t for my migraines. I also realized these are some important skills that I might need if I ever do spy or ninja work.

Here are some of them:

The Stealth Vomit

I can get back and forth to the bathroom to throw up at work without any co-workers knowing what I’m up to. This would be similiar to James Bond leaving a poker table to go battle the enemy and returning to finish his hand without even breaking a sweat.

Night Vision

I can't really see in the dark, but I can navigate around my house in the dark or with my eyes closed and not hit any objects along the way. This would be a good Ninja skill.

Deceptive Verbal Skills

I can be feeling like I’m on death’s door, but I can act like I’m a Miss Susie Sunshine on the phone, and no one is the wiser. Just by modulating the tone in my voice, I can fool the enemy into thinking I'm someone I'm not.

Withstanding Torture

I can withstand horrible torturous pain and not crack under the pressure. I might cry a little, but I won’t give up any secret information. This seems to be a James Bond type thing. I haven't seen very many Ninjas tortured in movies before. They just get beat up or killed.

So what are your Super Spy Ninja Migraine Skills?


Anonymous said...

I love this thread. I feel like I am an undercover agent in my own life. Family and Friends have no idea of the havoc that chronic migraines (not very well managed) have wreaked on my homelife/marriage/work/leisure etc. I may seem normal but my life is far from it. Thank you so much for this post; it's fantastic and spot on!

Aaron said...

I belong to the Super Secret Meeting Migraine Stink Eye Society. This is a club of people who sit in meetings at work and try to not make faces at coworkers while the searing pain is splitting their brain into little pieces. Sometimes it's very hard to not just get up, screaming, and run out of the room. Hence, we sit, squirm, keep a straight face, and join the club of Stink Eyes.

How to Cope with Pain said...

I don't have migraines, but I've heard one develops Airport-Guarding-German-Sheperd smell skills. From being able to sniff the slightest cooking or cleaning smell, you could use that skill to sniff out bombs, drugs, or hidden chocolate.
Great post!

catmum said...

super secret silence and invisibility cloak is my skill. I've had migraines since a little kid, and was subjected to all kinds of medical torments as they tried to pin down my symptoms (vomiting pain aura etc) so I've learned to keep very still and quiet so as not to draw enemy fire. I too have the super smell detector, and Braille walking. I can also detect jerks at 100 yards!

Rachel said...

ooo- i have the super smell skill! i can smell people who wear perfume (actually, i can TASTE it as well) about a mile away... and this is definitely heightened during a migraine. they can run, but they can't hide. i will sniff them out! coworkers will say "is so and so in today?" and even though i haven't seen them that day, i can say "why yes they are!" b/c i can smell them!!

Brooklynn said...

Well....I can go to work and fake it. I can put on a relatively happy face while taking some of my rescue medicine and no one knows I am in a tremendous amount of pain. Fantastic Ninja trick!