Friday, November 2, 2007

Do I stay or Do I go??

Well, my cold finally backed off, but then my migraine decided to act like a spoiled brat because it hadn't gotten any attention for a week, which landed me in bed all day yesterday. Sometimes, I wonder if my migraine is actually a conscious beast that wants to control my life.

I really hate calling in sick to work with a Family Medical Leave day so earlier in the month, because I only have so many days a month to use. Deciding to call sick into work is a very complicated affair for me. It's like a bizarre calculation with varying factors and degrees of how bad do I really feel.

I have to ask myself all sorts of questions when think I may need to stay home. Like how badly do I react to the light? If I screech like a vampire, it usually means I'm staying home. How many times have I thrown up? Once or twice can't really be a factor, because I throw up a lot. Can I even move my head without the room spinning around? If I take my migraine drugs now, lay back down and wait an hour, will I feel good enough to go to work? Can I actually visualize myself driving to work, getting out of my car, walking into my building, booting up my computer and taking fifty phone calls while acting like a happy camper to the clients.

So yesterday, I screeched like a vampire, threw up more than twice, staggered around like a drunken sailor and couldn't even imagine myself getting dressed for work. Therefore, I stayed home sick.


How to Cope with Pain said...

This is one loss that comes with a pain disorder... the extra amount of body-awareness, activity-awareness, etc., we have to have. For example, let's say we stay out too late/overexercise/have too much stress... most people would pay some price, but people with chronic pain have to be so aware of these, and other, things, unless we want to pay a high price. Sad, but true. I work with people to acknowledge the extra energy this takes - and while we might not like that we have to do this, learning to do it in spite of not liking to do so, is often helpful.

Diana said...

Trying to make that decision is so difficult. Please just know you're doing the very best you can to make the right decisions that will allow you to keep your job and take care of yourself. I wish no one had to deal with this. :(

Connie said...

Just living our ordinary lives causes complications we never thought we'd deal with so young. Get better soon and although it's tough to call off I think you did the right thing.

Anonymous said...

is their anything i can take to feel better i feel like i am under water