Thursday, July 26, 2007

Types of Migraines

After my conversation with my friend where I tried to unsuccessfully explain how different my migraines can be, I decided to start a list of my own migraine classifications. I don't know if I'm going to show it to her yet, but it made me feel better just writing it. Here is my list so far:

The Hail Mary
This is the type of migraine where I am in so much pain that I think I am going to die and the Virgin Mary is going to come get me at any moment to take me to heaven.

Taxi Please!
I'm not going to die, but I'm terrified to drive to work

The Serial Killer
An invisible serial killer is stabbing the top of my skull with a very sharp knife.

Flaming Nora (also known as the flaming skull from Ghost Rider)
The inside of my skull feels like it is on fire.

The Medusa
The veins and arteries in my head are pulsing so bad that it feels like snakes are moving inside my head.

This is self-explanatory.

The Monster
This is when I am trapped at work with a migraine and I am screaming inside “The Light! The Light!” as if I am a vampire, or I am stuck in the bathroom, making ungodly noises like a werewolf, because I am getting sick.

Brave Little Soldier

This is a mild to moderate migraine, where I take my migraine drugs and I try to go on with my day like a brave little soldier.

The Reduced Intelligence (also known as Dumb Shit or Low Wattage Girl)
This is a mild pain migraine, but I find I cannot concentrate on much of anything and I ending up watching crap reality shows like I love New York and I think I am watching good television.

Jitter Bug
This is a combination of nasty PMS and a Migraine. I am feeling very insecure while at the same time, feeling as if I am going to come out of my skin from the pain and pressure from a migraine. This is the type of migraine where running with scissors seems like a logical thing to do.

These types of migraines can be combined together to create even more interesting migraines. The Serial Killer and The Barfomatic frequently love to join up together.

What's on your migraine classification list??


deborah said...

funny, I can relate to them all; yet I am a tay at home Mother Dearest. Did I mention that I bang my head for pleasure?

Emily said...

i like this list; especially b/c you could (potentially) combine them -- i've got a flaming nora with a side of barfomatic. you know what i'm saying?

Angel said...

LOVE this list!! I'll have to think about my list.

Migraines aren't funny, but your humor is really good pain relief ;)

Migraineur said...

I think you should turn this into a meme - tag 3 of your favorite headache or migraine blogs, challenge them to come up with 3 migraine types of their own.

Angel said...

I came up with my list--thanks, it helped me when I couldn't sleep last night (due to headache naturally).

Laurie said...

Very funny!! I am fortunate enough not to suffer from migraines, but I can definitely appreciate the nuances here! I've labeled my various coughs in similar ways :)

danaew said...

You forgot the HANDS OFF! Migraine. That's the one where the pain is so intense that the next person that touches you is going to die. =P